Chin Hair

I start my week off with the best of intentions.

And then I blink and it’s Friday. Like seriously where did the time go?!

So here I am at the end of another week and wondering what on Earth just happened. How did I get here? Who am I?

I had a fried chicken recipe in the works (so unhealthy but so good!), I had a pulled pork recipe in the works. I have baby goats due in 2 weeks! (Although I’ve been distracted by a certain giraffe. Yes I’m one of those people). I had so much I was going to do this week and write about, and now once again time has slipped away on me. I find myself somewhat shell shocked on Fridays when all of a sudden I have to start preparing for the coming week.

And that was exactly the state I was in when it happened.

Yes, IT.

I looked in the mirror and there IT was. An offending black chin hair.

WHAT?! WHAAT?!

WHY?!

Like I needed one more thing on my plate.

Well technically it was on my face not my plate and that is certainly worse.

Also, to make it worse (like it seriously could get any worse!) was the fact that I was at work when the whole thing went down and therefore several miles away from my pair of tweezers.

YIKES!

So there we have it. My youthful appearance had been tarnished by a black monstrosity on my face.

I spent the day covering my chin whenever someone came near and then raced home (hoping to not get a ticket because hello, no cop is going to let me go on the account that I have a BEARD and am therefore not looking my best), and raced to my bedroom to fetch my tweezers. I then took great delight in wrangling the offending stray hair and plucking it from it’s warm home. That’ll teach it.

But that’s when I noticed other things. Bags under my eyes. Eyebrows that looked like wooly-bear caterpillars. Eyeliner smudged to my nose. And that’s when I wondered why I ever, ever go out in public.

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I’ve heard it said by many people of varying ages, and now here I am also saying it: “Getting old sucks”.

I wake up in the morning and wonder which muscles are going to be sore today. The first few steps are always cautious as my brain slowly goes over every part of me trying to figure out what hurts. If this is due to getting old, or the fact that I have a mattress that is older than I am, a male goat that I had to wrestle the other day because he was stuck in the fence and panicking (then don’t jump it ding dong!), or because I am now an active member at the newest gym in the town, I’m not sure. But take your pick, I hurt.

I spend more and more time in front of the mirror primping before going out. Why, I’ll never know because clearly it doesn’t hardly help. And there are other days where I say well, that’s as good as it’s going to get and then try my darnedest to stay away from anywhere that I may catch a view of how I look. However, now that I seem to be growing things from my face perhaps I won’t stray so far from a mirror from now on.

Thankfully I have already found myself a husband, because Lord knows it would be a heck of a lot harder with a chin hair hanging all up in there. “Hi I’m April, and this here is Chin Hair”. Yes I would name it. I live alone remember! My best friend is Gus the cat! (Actually he kind of is anyways), as husband and I rarely see each other. Hi Dan. Bye Dan. Good chat! Is about the extent of our relationship, which is probably good because he doesn’t have an opportunity to spy my stray hair.

…..

Did I tell you his name was Dan? I think up until this point he has always been Hubby on this blog, but in the interest of literally telling it all, Hubby’s name is Dan.

There. It feels good to have less secrets right? Plus Dan is just easier to type than Hubby. Less letters. I’m getting old, I have an absent memory. I don’t remember to write delicious recipes on my blog or keep up with appearance.

So there we have it. Chin hair and all.

Happy weekend. Rest up, Monday will be here before we know it.

And amen.